Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
