Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
