If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
