Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
