My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
