you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
