with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I am midnight drunk by noon
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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