Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
