I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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