She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
