At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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