I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
