i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
