at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize