i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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