Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize