The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Dick very happy bro
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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