Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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