I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Randomize
