Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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