I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
