I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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