she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
