I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
