Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
