I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
