What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Randomize
