Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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