I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Randomize