Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
