I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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