We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
