More tranny stories later!
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
