Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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