just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She bit a glass in half.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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