"it" just moved
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
