there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
