Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
