i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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