Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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