his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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