What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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