were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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