Pants 0. Shit 1.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize