So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Randomize
