so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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