It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
