Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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