why didn't you poke me back
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
