There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
