the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
