There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
