Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
