PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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