): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
