I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
