Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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