If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
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