Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
