Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize
